Thanks to everyone who voted in their heir poll! Double thanks for making a good choice, though Mercutio still might be my favorite…nah, just kidding. It was your decision.

Previously: Everybody aged up and grew up sexy. There was a poll where ya’ll voted in the new torchholder.


Mercutio: Hey, baby, I’m not heir. Sorry.


Sansa: That’s okay.


Sansa: We still have each other.


Sansa: Wait, WHAT?


Sansa: My boyfriend would have made an excellent heir! Suck on that, biyatch.


Bye, you two! I’ll check back later to see your spawn.


Portia: I’m not heir, so I guess we can’t freeload on my parents anymore.


Chet: Sick, babe!


Portia: Oh, I can’t, this is just…


Portia: Goodbye, crazy family!


Shay: I don’t know if I should feel sad or not that my kids are leaving me…


Lysander: Wait, wait, wait…gimme a minute now.


Lysander: YOU MEAN I’M STUCK IN A HOUSE BY MYSELF WITH MY DUMB-AS-EGGS PARENTS…oh, and Constance…


Speaking of Constance, here she is all grown up.

Party Animal // Perceptive // Never Nude // Mooch // Lucky // LTW: Rock Star


…


Constance: Does this family do anything else besides play video games?

Nope, sorry.


It’s okay. Constance doesn’t do anything else besides dance.


Jamie: And you’re sure that’s the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?


Lysander: Oh yes…

Heavy Sleeper // Clumsy // Inappropriate // Neurotic // Friendly // LTW: World Renowned Surgeon

(In case you forgot.)


I think their chilluns will be decent-looking, though.


Lysander: Thanks so much for moving in with us, Constance.


Awww!


Constance: Oh, thank you, sugar. Your hands are even better than my biology teacher’s.


Constance: Uhm…


Lysander: Well, uh—ohshit!—uh…


Lysander: Would you marry me, Constance, and be a member of this family forever and ever?


Constance: Oh my…this is…


Constance: This is great! We can be like peas and carrots!


Celebratory post-engagement sexytimes.


Lysander: You know, Mom, since today’s our wedding day and all, maybe you should at least pretend to like Constance?


Jamie: Huhmm?


Constance: I hope I can fit in…


Lysander and Constance decided to have a small ceremony in the backyard at sunset.


Oh Shay…at your son’s wedding?


Shay: You didn’t see that. I didn’t see that.


Post-wedding frisking.


They’re so cute!


Sansa: Hey guys, don’t mind me, just interrupting your honeymoon sex.

(Constance’s face, guys. HER FACE.)


Sansa: Want some flowers, Lysander?
Lysander: NO.


Sansa: You’re not going to hurt me, right Constance? We are sisters-in-law.


Constance: Don’t even talk to me right now, sister.


Sansa: Nobody understands how if feels to be me…


Bet you guys wish you’d voted for Mercutio. His wife is a heck of a lot more interesting than Lysander’s.

(No offense, Constance.)


We all know what this means.


Generation three now pending…


Constance: I don’t know how you’re going to take this, but I’m, uh…


Constance: I’m pregnant.


Lysander: Really? Haha, bet you’ve never had that happen before.


Lysander: Way to go, sweetie!
Constance: Err, right.


Constance really does love to dance.


And since she’s pregnant and unemployed, I humor her.


Constance: I love dancing, yes I do!


Shay: Doesn’t it bother you that our daughter-in-law is an unemployed do-nothing?


Jamie: You have no idea.


Look at Lysander fixing what he broke!

*is proud*


Jamie: You know, I did want at least five kids.


Shay: We can fix that right now, if you want.

(AHAHAHAHAHA, NO.)


Jamie: I’m glad I said yes when you proposed.
Shay: I know.


Shay still works on his LTW shirtless, though thankfully indoors.


Constance: I’m 500 pounds and I haven’t seen my feet in weeks. Do. Not. Mess.


Constance: I feel really strange, like…


Constance: HOSHIT OW OW OW!


The smile of a man whose wife just popped out twin girls.


Hero Speare, born with a random greenish-brown hair color that you'll see momentarily.

She’s an excitable outdoorswoman.


Viola Speare.

She’s an evil genius.


I love having twins.


Hero: Green is best!


Viola: I like red.


Shay got invited over to Mercutio’s house.


Look how proud of herself Sansa is, holding baby Maurice. What a turkey.


Shay: You know we still love you, right? No need to be a stranger.


Mercutio: Thanks, Dad.

Shay, your way-cool points just skyrocketed!


And here’s Hero with her hideous green hair.


Yeah, there’s some pretty shameless twin spam in this update.


Jamie: Where we you the night of the 10th?
Maid: Cleaning your house, Mrs Speare. Like always.


The Claw is still my favoritest thing.


Constance: Hi, Sansa. How nice of you to call…yes, Lysander and I just had twins. Oh, I didn’t know you had dibs on favorite grandchild. Yes, I’ll let Shay know.


Spammity spam.


I don’t think Hero likes her green hair any more than I do.




She’s still cute, though. Green hair and all.


Does it ever seem odd that we take so many pictures of our toddlers pooping?


Boom.


Bam.

Lysander and Constance have parenting on lockdown.


Constance: Ah, peace at last…nobody ever said having kids was so hard.


Grampa Shay lends a helping hand.


Since things seemed to be under control, Constance decided a little vacation was in order.


Constance: Yes, hi. I’d like to book a flight to Shang Simla. Just two adults. Uh, as soon as possible? Like, right now.

And that's it. You'll have to tune in next time to see how Lysander and Constance's adventures in Shang Simla went down.